vagabondage (Zen) was one of my most favorite people, not only in fandom but also IRL. I can't even begin to quantify how much light is gone from the world with her gone...or how much light is still to be found in the memories and her fic and her vids.

I used to always treat her for dinner out on the Friday before or after her birthday, so this is a weekend particularly filled with my thoughts of her.

I have been working on a poem about her -- I wanted to post it here for what would have been her 50th birthday -- but it's still too painful because the poem got its start when it was going to be given to her rather than "just" about her.


*torn between crying for Zen not here or smiling for all the years she was*